Decorum
by Kaizerchen
Summary: Felix had wanted to see Kain work, but this was not what he had in mind. FelixKain


**Decorum**

"It's a great idea. Trust me. I know things."

"No, it's a great idea to those mentally disturbed like you."

"Well, at least the rest of the church is mentally disturbed too. So it will definitely work."

"That is not the issue here. Of course it will work. I look like a girl."

"I just don't see the conflict then."

"Because it's weird! And uncomfortable… pervy too, now that I think about it."

"Oh, come on, you said!"

"Kain."

Felix's ultimate move, taught to him by his shrew of a mother, the stern voice that says "I don't have a reason, I don't need one". A rare sight indeed, though, Kain really couldn't just sit back and enjoy it, as he had a mission to complete. Said mission included the sunhat, dress and heels he was carrying, with a Felix stirred into the mix.

"You said you've always wanted to see a sermon! This is perfect!"

"Yes, a sermon, but I wanted to come as myself. In these robes. Not as your wife, Felixina."

"Don't be silly. You wouldn't be my wife, everyone knows I don't have one. You'd be my cousin."

"Kissing cousins?"

"Felix, the service starts in five minutes, please?"

Cue the badly-timed knock at the door, which prompted Kain to toss the women's clothing into his dresser, while Felix jumped into the closet.

"Kain? Sir? Um… I don't want to disturb you, but… service starts soon."

"Right, right, I'll be out, don't you worry!"

The strangely upbeat (though stretched) tone Kain had to his voice gave the anonymous messenger pause, but he walked away without a word. Meanwhile, Kain rushed up to the closet door, muttering to it.

"I'm leaving Felix… if you want…"

"Just leave! Service!"

"Fine… the clothes are in the third drawer though…"

Kain slumped out of the room and sulked all the way to the shrine, though it still only took him forty seconds to get to the building, and as soon as he made it inside, he straightened up, nodding and smiling at the passerbys. Within a few minutes, after shaking Achilles off his heels, he stood before the crowd, wearing the patented Kain-innocuous smile, and starting with a few bland, but kind words. Feeling disappointed that there was no Felix to be found in his audience.

"This is a special day indeed, my friends! I'm overjoyed to see all of you here for this Order's anniversary. It means a lot to know th-"

He stopped short in his praising the members of this gathering, when a general rustling and muted murmur rose up through the crowd. His eyes didn't have to search long before he found the source of this disruption: Felix had, indeed, shown up, in full cross-dressing gear, though… not quite as Kain had intended. It seemed that Felix had done some last minute surgery to his new outfit, making it even less fit for church than his regular streetclothes, perhaps.

Rather than the ankle-length flowered dress Felix had started out with, the article of clothing now more closely resembled a mini-skirt, which was dangerously close to revealing things that it should keep secret. Of course, this couldn't be all, not with Felix, so the neckline, instead of a modest neckline (covering Felix's not-entirely-prominent Adam's apple), plunged, yes, indeed, like a deep-sea diver. On top of that, Felix had managed to give himself some cleavage (Kain had not figured how he did this, in such a short time too). As the mage sauntered to the first aisle, Kain mentally raised an eyebrow at the smooth, womanly legs he exhibited, not to mention the finesse with which he walked in the heels. However, the one thing the priest could find to slightly redeem the outfit, was Felix's hair, pulled up into a proper bun.

"Hi, cousin," Felix breathed, winking up at him, before crossing his legs, with much less womanly finesse and many more devious intentions.

Kain was relieved to see that plenty of the men in the crowd were already sporting nosebleeds, right before he fell over into a dead faint.

-----

Clichéd? Yes, but, I love me some crossdressing.

Right, so we all know that Olacion lets people in whenever, no matter what clothes they're wearing, but, yes, I don't care. I had to tweak reality to make it fit my sick story.

But, come on, we all /know/ Kain is a perv.

Also, they should have a category called "lame". That way no one will be unpleasantly surprised.


End file.
